1 00:00:02,020 --> 00:00:06,000 Previously on Vanderpump Rules, we start the summer in Hampton. Right. You ever 2 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:09,440 been up to Montauk? 224 is my favorite day. Definitely should make a girls' 3 00:00:09,440 --> 00:00:10,119 and come. 4 00:00:10,120 --> 00:00:13,400 I don't even know what to do about this trip. I don't know if Stassi's going to 5 00:00:13,400 --> 00:00:14,239 disinvite me. 6 00:00:14,240 --> 00:00:17,620 They're just bullies, dude. You guys are going to Montauk this weekend, so I 7 00:00:17,620 --> 00:00:19,980 need to fix this. Right, and you do, and you will. 8 00:00:20,220 --> 00:00:22,080 This week, Patrick and I aren't together. 9 00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:26,960 Kind of normal for you and Patrick. If a dude comes up to me, I will entertain 10 00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:27,960 it. 11 00:00:28,619 --> 00:00:32,540 Ariana's birthday coming up. I'm invited this year. Have you ever been to a 12 00:00:32,540 --> 00:00:33,540 NASCAR race before? 13 00:00:33,860 --> 00:00:35,940 No. But I want to go. 14 00:00:36,820 --> 00:00:37,820 You're going to Panama? 15 00:00:38,360 --> 00:00:39,640 Yes. I'm nervous. 16 00:00:39,980 --> 00:00:41,260 Tell everybody with kindness. 17 00:00:41,460 --> 00:00:42,460 We have to. 18 00:00:43,380 --> 00:00:48,160 I want to make it the best birthday ever for Ariana. 19 00:00:48,380 --> 00:00:52,220 And if anybody stands in the way of that, I'm going to be pissed. 20 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:29,000 This is where they make bricerone, the San Francisco treat. 21 00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:35,340 Let's chill for a minute. Okay. What kind of car did you get us? 22 00:01:35,740 --> 00:01:40,060 Something comfy, something cute. Yeah, something cute, like a Miata, you know. 23 00:01:40,060 --> 00:01:40,779 love Miata. 24 00:01:40,780 --> 00:01:43,980 I'm going to go fill out some paperwork and stuff like that. You got it? Yeah, 25 00:01:44,140 --> 00:01:47,400 yeah, I'll be fine. It's Ariana's birthday trip. We're going to be going 26 00:01:47,400 --> 00:01:49,440 Country. We're going to be going to NASCAR. 27 00:01:49,980 --> 00:01:54,560 And unbeknownst to everyone else, me and Ariana have this really big surprise 28 00:01:54,560 --> 00:01:55,680 that we've worked out. 29 00:01:55,980 --> 00:01:56,980 And it's going to be awesome. 30 00:01:57,240 --> 00:01:58,860 You guys ever figure out what happened to Lala? 31 00:01:59,080 --> 00:02:01,460 Well, actually, she texted me. 32 00:02:01,660 --> 00:02:03,160 But hold on. I'll read it to you guys. 33 00:02:03,380 --> 00:02:05,320 I'm sorry I couldn't make it last minute. 34 00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:08,080 Enjoy this celebration with close friends and family. 35 00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:12,180 Thank you for always being kind to me and including me. I promise I will make 36 00:02:12,180 --> 00:02:15,160 up to you. Happy birthday, boo. Okay, I get it. I get it. 37 00:02:15,560 --> 00:02:19,420 I never thought Lala would teach me anything in this world. But I was wrong. 38 00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:22,360 See, he literally just talked about it yesterday. Yeah. And didn't say she 39 00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:25,260 wasn't coming. Turns out, you can flake out on your friends. 40 00:02:25,720 --> 00:02:29,760 And all you have to do is write, I'm sorry, boo, in a text message, and all 41 00:02:29,760 --> 00:02:30,760 forgiven. 42 00:02:31,020 --> 00:02:33,000 Oh, my God, this is not sustainable. 43 00:02:33,460 --> 00:02:34,960 Oh, what the fuck? 44 00:02:37,980 --> 00:02:40,680 No way. 45 00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:44,020 You just kicked it up ten knots. 46 00:02:44,320 --> 00:02:45,700 Welcome to the Sonoma Express. 47 00:02:46,020 --> 00:02:48,540 You just kicked it up ten knots. 48 00:02:49,240 --> 00:02:51,500 I mean, I'm not going to lie. I was a little concerned. 49 00:02:51,860 --> 00:02:53,280 You know, the cabin is kind of small. 50 00:02:53,710 --> 00:02:54,910 Oh, so it is a cabin. 51 00:02:55,130 --> 00:02:56,009 Yeah. Okay. 52 00:02:56,010 --> 00:02:57,350 Are we all sleeping in one room? 53 00:02:57,650 --> 00:03:00,410 We've done trips before. We're all sleeping in one room. 54 00:03:00,650 --> 00:03:04,590 But, like, this couldn't be any better. We're going to be kind of in close 55 00:03:04,590 --> 00:03:05,590 counters. 56 00:03:05,850 --> 00:03:06,850 Close counters? 57 00:03:06,870 --> 00:03:07,870 Is that right? 58 00:03:08,430 --> 00:03:09,269 Close quarters. 59 00:03:09,270 --> 00:03:10,530 Close counters. Why did I say close counters? 60 00:03:10,970 --> 00:03:12,630 Yo, this thing looks awesome. 61 00:03:13,410 --> 00:03:15,850 I've been wanting to do this since I moved to California. 62 00:03:16,110 --> 00:03:18,740 Yeah! I just realized that we're the only girls on this trip. 63 00:03:19,620 --> 00:03:22,240 I don't know how you're going to poop with the door open. I know. 64 00:03:22,500 --> 00:03:24,260 That's why you asked me to bring the poopery. 65 00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:26,840 Oh, thank you. This is awesome. 66 00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:28,900 This up here is a bed right here. 67 00:03:29,140 --> 00:03:30,600 Oh, my God. 68 00:03:31,020 --> 00:03:33,400 I think a bed comes out of here. That's probably a bed. 69 00:03:33,760 --> 00:03:36,560 I'm no stranger to RVs. I know how awesome they are. 70 00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:43,220 The only thing that sucks is, like, Jackson, Tom, and Tom, they all fart so 71 00:03:43,220 --> 00:03:44,460 much. Oh, my God. 72 00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:46,180 Oh, my God, these chaps. 73 00:03:46,660 --> 00:03:51,300 I know. I should wash my hair before I play. Those boys just fart like crazy. 74 00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:52,600 Drives me nuts. 75 00:03:54,080 --> 00:03:55,080 They do. 76 00:03:55,180 --> 00:03:57,300 All right, guys, we're moving. 77 00:03:57,660 --> 00:04:00,720 Am I going to be car sick? Oh, did you get car sick? Yeah. 78 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:02,020 Oh, Brittany gets car sick. 79 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:05,040 Tequila will help that. Disney, you want to do the first shot? 80 00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:07,920 Yeah. Is it cold yet? I just put it in the freezer. 81 00:04:08,220 --> 00:04:09,460 It is not cold. 82 00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:12,540 Just jizzed out of the ceiling. 83 00:04:12,740 --> 00:04:14,260 Todd, we're taking out the f***ing roof. 84 00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:17,880 You know what? I thought there would be some nicking of cars, maybe a side swipe 85 00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:18,880 and knocked over a cone. 86 00:04:19,339 --> 00:04:21,899 Eventually. We're not even out of the parking lot yet. 87 00:04:22,220 --> 00:04:24,260 We went ten feet and we're already in trouble. 88 00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:28,860 The Sonoma Express does not stop for cosmetic damage. 89 00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:30,360 Full steam ahead. 90 00:04:50,460 --> 00:04:54,340 So we need to get a beer right now, otherwise I'm going to lose steam and 91 00:04:54,340 --> 00:04:55,179 able to do anything. 92 00:04:55,180 --> 00:04:58,360 I have to keep this going, otherwise we're going to be home late. Beer for 93 00:04:58,360 --> 00:05:00,120 breakfast. Beer for breakfast. 94 00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:02,940 This is my 28th birthday. 95 00:05:03,300 --> 00:05:06,180 I have not had a birthday trip in two years. 96 00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:08,220 Guys, I want to get beer and jerky. 97 00:05:09,340 --> 00:05:10,340 Please. 98 00:05:11,980 --> 00:05:15,940 We're celebrating my birthday in Montauk because we were invited by the Work It 99 00:05:15,940 --> 00:05:19,080 Twins. Guys, this is the worst with jerky. It takes, like, pennies. 100 00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:24,260 My birthdays haven't always been the classiest events, but they're always 101 00:05:24,260 --> 00:05:25,260 eventful. 102 00:05:25,900 --> 00:05:26,980 Now the party's here. 103 00:05:27,240 --> 00:05:29,940 How dare you ruin my birthday like that? What are you trying to prove? Do you 104 00:05:29,940 --> 00:05:30,940 want to go? Mother... 105 00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:32,000 You want to go? 106 00:05:32,100 --> 00:05:39,020 Stop bitching. What do you want me to say? I just feel like Montauk 107 00:05:39,020 --> 00:05:43,720 is the perfect place for me to get away because aren't there like bougie, blue 108 00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:45,580 -blooded, fancy types here? 109 00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:47,680 Like that's exactly what I need right now. 110 00:05:48,020 --> 00:05:52,500 How does this happen that everything is blue and white stripes like my wardrobe 111 00:05:52,500 --> 00:05:53,500 that I brought here? 112 00:05:54,440 --> 00:05:56,040 It's going to be so much fun. 113 00:05:56,580 --> 00:05:57,580 Cool. 114 00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:02,620 Look it, there's a beach right there. 115 00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:06,340 Look how pretty everything is. It's like our own little personal home. I know. 116 00:06:06,620 --> 00:06:07,620 So nice. 117 00:06:08,220 --> 00:06:09,220 Ooh. 118 00:06:10,240 --> 00:06:12,060 Dude. So nautical. 119 00:06:12,300 --> 00:06:17,040 I'm really excited to be in Montauk. It is beautiful. The weather's gorgeous. So 120 00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:21,300 I'm just hoping that everyone's attitudes can stay with the sunny 121 00:06:21,640 --> 00:06:22,680 Oh, our bathroom's really cute. 122 00:06:23,380 --> 00:06:24,380 Aw. 123 00:06:25,160 --> 00:06:28,940 We've been fighting so much, but I'm hoping this can be the first step in the 124 00:06:28,940 --> 00:06:31,320 right direction to repairing anything that's been broken. 125 00:06:32,180 --> 00:06:32,979 We'll see. 126 00:06:32,980 --> 00:06:34,900 It literally is a little private beach. 127 00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:36,760 Gina, come look. 128 00:06:40,020 --> 00:06:41,820 How are you feeling with Gina right now? 129 00:06:42,280 --> 00:06:46,280 I think we all are here with a common purpose, obviously, to celebrate your 130 00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:48,820 birthday. And not that anyone's, like, pushing anything aside or brushing 131 00:06:48,820 --> 00:06:52,900 anything under the rug, but I'm not harboring anything. I'm not bottling up 132 00:06:52,940 --> 00:06:56,540 you know, penting up anything towards her. Let this not be, like, one of those 133 00:06:56,540 --> 00:07:00,460 trips where she's just, like, being selfish and making it about her and, 134 00:07:00,460 --> 00:07:02,320 well, I don't want to do, like, certain things. 135 00:07:14,190 --> 00:07:17,990 A lot of planning went into this. Like, a lot of planning. This wasn't just, 136 00:07:18,050 --> 00:07:21,830 like, a normal trip. Like, everything with the RV, everything. 137 00:07:22,230 --> 00:07:25,750 NASCAR. We had super VIP tickets that were expensive. 138 00:07:26,150 --> 00:07:30,890 Yeah, and we had to get them in the person's name that's coming. 139 00:07:31,210 --> 00:07:35,790 It's like, dude, if she, like, for real Blake Flakes, I'm going to be really 140 00:07:35,790 --> 00:07:38,250 pissed. Like, I'm going to be livid. 141 00:07:38,470 --> 00:07:42,970 I don't know if Lala realizes this, but she's just giving everybody an excuse. 142 00:07:43,420 --> 00:07:47,380 to hate on her. I'm just going to hold off judgment until I have the real 143 00:07:47,660 --> 00:07:52,540 I just hope that whatever it is that's going on, it better be important. 144 00:07:53,260 --> 00:07:54,380 We have more room now. 145 00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:55,960 For activities. 146 00:07:56,300 --> 00:07:57,760 There's more room for activities. 147 00:07:59,180 --> 00:08:00,180 Jax? 148 00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:01,360 Are you sleeping? 149 00:08:01,820 --> 00:08:04,880 Hey, I'm just getting ready. I'm checking my eyelids for holes. 150 00:08:05,100 --> 00:08:08,220 Why didn't you sit by me on the plane, Jax? We live together, sleep together, 151 00:08:08,360 --> 00:08:09,299 eat together, play together. 152 00:08:09,300 --> 00:08:11,660 I'm sure you'd be okay with 45 minutes on a flight. You'd be all right. So 153 00:08:11,660 --> 00:08:12,660 annoying. Isn't it annoying? 154 00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:16,020 I think I'm going to FaceTime with Tina really fast. 155 00:08:16,320 --> 00:08:19,600 Everything cool about our trip, Brittany just ruined by calling them. Oh, hush. 156 00:08:19,680 --> 00:08:22,720 What happens in Montauk is probably not going to stay in Montauk because it'll 157 00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:23,720 end up on Snapchat. 158 00:08:23,860 --> 00:08:25,600 Well, it already kind of has. 159 00:08:27,120 --> 00:08:28,300 Brittany wants to FaceTime. 160 00:08:28,900 --> 00:08:29,940 Hi. Hi. 161 00:08:30,180 --> 00:08:31,180 Hey, y 'all. 162 00:08:31,960 --> 00:08:33,120 Are you guys in a boat? 163 00:08:33,460 --> 00:08:34,600 Oh, you're in a motorhome. 164 00:08:35,220 --> 00:08:40,360 All of you? All of us, but Lala didn't come. What happened? 165 00:08:42,700 --> 00:08:46,100 Wait, so Lala didn't even tell Ariana that she wasn't showing up? Not until 166 00:08:46,100 --> 00:08:47,600 after we already left, yeah. 167 00:08:47,900 --> 00:08:51,800 I mean, this is f***ed up. Like, it's because of Lala that I'm not invited to 168 00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:55,800 Sonoma. This bitch took my spot, and now she didn't even show up. She said she 169 00:08:55,800 --> 00:08:57,980 couldn't handle Tom's raw sexual magnitude. 170 00:08:58,380 --> 00:09:01,120 It's just too damn sexy. I couldn't be in a motorhome next to him. It's 171 00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:02,120 understandable. 172 00:09:02,200 --> 00:09:03,200 Look at this. 173 00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:05,280 I bet Sheena would hate this. 174 00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:10,680 Yeah, I'm good in my nautical suite with an oceanfront view and balcony. 175 00:09:11,180 --> 00:09:12,340 It's actually fun, though. 176 00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:14,820 It's like a redneck dream right now. 177 00:09:17,660 --> 00:09:20,360 All right, well, you guys have fun. Keep me posted on everything. 178 00:09:20,680 --> 00:09:21,659 We love you. 179 00:09:21,660 --> 00:09:23,560 Bye. Love you guys. Love you, too. 180 00:09:25,740 --> 00:09:27,140 He's like a redneck dream. 181 00:09:29,220 --> 00:09:30,220 Coming up. 182 00:09:30,520 --> 00:09:34,100 Talk to me more about your perfect relationship right now. Are you crying? 183 00:09:56,010 --> 00:09:57,010 What's going on? Are we busy? 184 00:09:57,050 --> 00:10:00,050 Oh, yeah. Just trying to figure out where to put the party. Like, it's 30 in 185 00:10:00,050 --> 00:10:01,770 garden. Why don't you give them the veranda? 186 00:10:01,990 --> 00:10:03,410 Have they paid just for the garden? 187 00:10:03,670 --> 00:10:07,590 They paid for the garden. It's a nice evening. Open the front door so we can 188 00:10:07,590 --> 00:10:11,350 the terrace as well. Push everybody back. All right. Sounds good. 189 00:10:11,790 --> 00:10:13,290 All right. Hello. 190 00:10:13,970 --> 00:10:14,970 Hi, Lisa. 191 00:10:15,750 --> 00:10:16,990 Darling, how are you? 192 00:10:17,310 --> 00:10:20,090 It's so good up here. We're having the best time. 193 00:10:20,390 --> 00:10:21,390 Okay, good. 194 00:10:23,120 --> 00:10:26,400 Have you seen or heard from Lala at all? 195 00:10:27,180 --> 00:10:29,860 No, no, no. She took time off. I thought she was with you. 196 00:10:31,060 --> 00:10:34,340 She was supposed to be with us and then she didn't show up to the airport this 197 00:10:34,340 --> 00:10:39,340 morning. She sent me a text apologizing and saying that she was sorry she had to 198 00:10:39,340 --> 00:10:43,720 miss a trip last minute. But when I asked her what happened, she hasn't 199 00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:47,160 responded to me. I mean, it's kind of irritating for me because she begged for 200 00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:50,240 the night off. It's a busy Saturday night. I'd like to trust Lala. 201 00:10:50,750 --> 00:10:55,730 But she started our relationship with a little bit of a lie. 202 00:10:55,990 --> 00:10:56,990 How was the modeling? 203 00:10:57,450 --> 00:11:00,610 It's a long story. You didn't really have a modeling job, though, did you? 204 00:11:02,310 --> 00:11:06,210 So, I'm a little hesitant to believe a lot of what she says. 205 00:11:06,570 --> 00:11:07,570 It's your birthday. 206 00:11:07,690 --> 00:11:10,890 Just forget about it. Right? Just have a good time. Be safe. 207 00:11:11,130 --> 00:11:12,290 All right. Speak to you later. 208 00:11:12,510 --> 00:11:13,950 All right. Have a good weekend. 209 00:11:14,310 --> 00:11:18,590 All right, darling. Okay, bye -bye. Pretty clear that if Lala's not with 210 00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:22,200 And she's not at work. She's basically just proving to me that she's fadious, 211 00:11:22,320 --> 00:11:24,260 and I'm over it. 212 00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:27,780 All right, are we passing around some tequila or what? 213 00:11:27,980 --> 00:11:28,980 Yeah. 214 00:11:34,680 --> 00:11:35,680 It's so pretty. 215 00:11:36,860 --> 00:11:41,500 The thing is, New Yorkers are like go, go, go all the time, and they go to 216 00:11:41,500 --> 00:11:43,980 Montauk to decompress and do nothing. 217 00:11:45,060 --> 00:11:49,770 I... do nothing all the time, so I don't really get the appeal. 218 00:11:50,030 --> 00:11:51,070 We make drinks real fast. 219 00:11:51,390 --> 00:11:52,410 OK, who wants what? 220 00:11:52,690 --> 00:11:53,770 Sheena, what do you want? 221 00:11:54,010 --> 00:11:54,729 I'm OK. 222 00:11:54,730 --> 00:11:58,930 It's my birthday, and I want everybody to drink. Well, if you wouldn't have 223 00:11:58,930 --> 00:12:03,630 taken my straw earlier, I can't. The ice might be way too sensitive. 224 00:12:04,050 --> 00:12:08,750 All right. All right. Yes, this is typical Sheena. Maybe the drink isn't at 225 00:12:08,750 --> 00:12:11,430 right temperature for her, or we don't have the right straw. 226 00:12:11,810 --> 00:12:13,270 Like, seriously, just, like, have a drink. 227 00:12:13,870 --> 00:12:14,870 OK? 228 00:12:15,470 --> 00:12:16,650 Brittany FaceTimed us. 229 00:12:17,150 --> 00:12:20,370 All of them are staying in an RV together. 230 00:12:21,450 --> 00:12:23,110 What? They're all in an RV. 231 00:12:24,310 --> 00:12:26,310 Brittany said, it's a redneck dream. 232 00:12:26,790 --> 00:12:28,670 A redneck dream and my worst nightmare. 233 00:12:29,050 --> 00:12:34,830 All of them? So, Tom and Ariana, Jax, Brittany, Jeremy, Tom, and Lala? 234 00:12:35,110 --> 00:12:36,110 Lala didn't come. 235 00:12:36,330 --> 00:12:37,330 Wait, really? 236 00:12:37,470 --> 00:12:38,470 Weird. 237 00:12:39,040 --> 00:12:43,820 I guess she texted Ariana and just apologized but didn't give any 238 00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:45,940 It's actually probably better that she's not there. Well, it makes you feel 239 00:12:45,940 --> 00:12:46,940 better for Britney. 240 00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:50,880 Oh, no, totally. Britney was, like, beaming. Like, she was so happy. 241 00:12:51,380 --> 00:12:57,040 If Lala's not there, then it's, like, okay, the hassle that she would cause 242 00:12:57,040 --> 00:12:59,920 Schwartz while she's, like, trying to skank on him. I know. 243 00:13:00,140 --> 00:13:03,340 Remember, this is a girl that doesn't wear underwear to work. 244 00:13:03,680 --> 00:13:05,000 Does anybody want to try this on? 245 00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:08,560 I don't have underwear on. You've got a short dress on and no one. one. 246 00:13:08,820 --> 00:13:09,819 You're welcome. 247 00:13:09,820 --> 00:13:12,700 A girl that can't keep her top on for more than three minutes. 248 00:13:16,700 --> 00:13:20,940 I feel like I should send Lala a thank you card, because even 3 ,500 miles away 249 00:13:20,940 --> 00:13:24,680 on that trip, she was still going to bug me. So, thank you, Lala. God, we're 250 00:13:24,680 --> 00:13:25,680 such haters. 251 00:13:31,900 --> 00:13:34,140 Oh, we're passing the Sonoma County line. 252 00:13:34,500 --> 00:13:36,560 Here we are. It's official. 253 00:13:39,150 --> 00:13:40,150 Hey, 254 00:13:41,190 --> 00:13:44,150 guys, if you're changing when you get there, just start visualizing our 255 00:13:44,150 --> 00:13:48,990 now. I don't visualize outfits. I just put them on. Well, if that's what you 256 00:13:49,030 --> 00:13:50,009 then that's what you do. 257 00:13:50,010 --> 00:13:51,010 Here we are, guys. 258 00:13:52,050 --> 00:13:53,050 Oh, it's so pretty. 259 00:13:55,030 --> 00:13:56,030 Jack. What, honey? 260 00:13:56,210 --> 00:13:58,630 Get your stuff and come out here so we can change in there. 261 00:13:58,930 --> 00:14:00,290 Hey, Jack, show me some titty. 262 00:14:00,790 --> 00:14:03,970 What are you putting stuff on in there for? I just put deodorant on, honey. I 263 00:14:03,970 --> 00:14:04,759 got you. 264 00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:06,960 Jack's had a breast reduction surgery. 265 00:14:07,220 --> 00:14:10,220 Dude, look at that service knife. It's got the bra built in it. 266 00:14:15,340 --> 00:14:19,260 I have both had breast augmentation. Male -female couple. 267 00:14:19,460 --> 00:14:21,620 Yeah. That's a rare combo, dude. 268 00:14:21,880 --> 00:14:26,340 Right now, he's got the compression bra on, the man bra, and he hasn't showered 269 00:14:26,340 --> 00:14:29,920 in like a week, and he smells really, really bad. 270 00:14:30,320 --> 00:14:31,320 Aw, Jack. 271 00:14:31,440 --> 00:14:33,400 I had a bra just like that when I was 10. 272 00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:38,800 Just to give you an idea, he smells like he's worn the same jockstrap for a year 273 00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:41,780 and ran every day that year and not washed it once. 274 00:14:42,080 --> 00:14:43,720 I took my vest off. It feels so good. 275 00:14:43,980 --> 00:14:44,980 Oh, let me see the boobs. 276 00:14:45,720 --> 00:14:46,720 Damn, big debut. 277 00:14:48,380 --> 00:14:49,380 Damn. 278 00:14:50,020 --> 00:14:51,080 Thanks for dressing up, dude. 279 00:14:51,880 --> 00:14:53,920 Don't do that. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 280 00:14:55,950 --> 00:14:59,330 All right. Hey, how's it going? I'm Tom. I'm Tom, too, as well. Nice to meet 281 00:14:59,330 --> 00:15:00,149 you. 282 00:15:00,150 --> 00:15:03,930 Hi, Ariana. And it's your birthday as well, I believe. It is my birthday. 283 00:15:03,930 --> 00:15:04,769 birthday. Congratulations. 284 00:15:04,770 --> 00:15:06,190 Thank you. I'm the assistant winemaker. 285 00:15:06,450 --> 00:15:08,570 I'm helping making wine here with the winemaker as well. 286 00:15:08,850 --> 00:15:11,850 And we learned about some grapes. Taste some wine out here in the garden. That's 287 00:15:11,850 --> 00:15:12,910 perfect. That's perfect. 288 00:15:13,290 --> 00:15:13,589 I love that. 289 00:15:13,590 --> 00:15:18,890 Thank you so much. I've been to wineries before, and it's a kind of high -class 290 00:15:18,890 --> 00:15:23,050 thing, but we're pulling up to this place in a freaking Winnebago. 291 00:15:24,319 --> 00:15:27,000 I mean, could we be more of a sore thumb? 292 00:15:27,540 --> 00:15:28,860 Here, so we've got six wines for you guys. 293 00:15:29,620 --> 00:15:31,120 First up, we've got the cashmere white. 294 00:15:31,340 --> 00:15:33,960 It's the first one on the right there, yeah. 295 00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:37,480 You were good? Yeah. I'm not a huge wine drinker. I can drink it. I'm just not a 296 00:15:37,480 --> 00:15:42,000 big fan of it. Being sober at a winery, you can take a whole new look at things, 297 00:15:42,080 --> 00:15:42,759 I'll tell you that. 298 00:15:42,760 --> 00:15:45,860 If we were going to like a vodka vineyard, that would be awesome. 299 00:15:46,260 --> 00:15:47,600 But it's okay. I don't mind. 300 00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:51,440 Yeah, it's got a really nice vibrant flavor to it. It's got a creaminess to 301 00:15:51,460 --> 00:15:54,400 It's got a little nuttiness in there as well. It has a nice semen finish. Do you 302 00:15:54,400 --> 00:15:54,979 notice that? 303 00:15:54,980 --> 00:15:55,980 Yeah, it does. 304 00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:57,200 How do you know what it tastes like? 305 00:15:57,860 --> 00:16:00,860 Yeah, how do you know what semen tastes like? No, I'm just kidding. I don't. I'm 306 00:16:00,860 --> 00:16:04,040 just... This is my favorite one so far. 307 00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:08,900 I never have been a wine drinker. If it was shots of tequila, different types of 308 00:16:08,900 --> 00:16:13,860 whiskeys or bourbon, I'm your girl. But when it comes to wine, I have no idea 309 00:16:13,860 --> 00:16:14,860 what I'm talking about. 310 00:16:15,050 --> 00:16:17,670 This one is the Klein Chardonnay, 100 % Chardonnay from a state fruit. 311 00:16:18,610 --> 00:16:24,190 Cabernet, Merlot, Malbec, Maybach, Malbec, 312 00:16:24,530 --> 00:16:26,890 Clerico. 313 00:16:28,690 --> 00:16:30,590 I don't know what I'm talking about. 314 00:16:32,530 --> 00:16:33,530 Sangria. 315 00:16:33,870 --> 00:16:34,870 I don't know what that is. 316 00:16:35,130 --> 00:16:38,050 It's been great having you guys, and it's been so much fun showing you 317 00:16:38,130 --> 00:16:39,730 Thank you so much, Tom. This has been so wonderful. 318 00:16:40,170 --> 00:16:42,450 All right, guys, I got an idea. We should do high car cut. 319 00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:45,620 Loser has to take a shot of the spill bucket. 320 00:16:46,780 --> 00:16:51,660 This is a high stakes game here. It may not seem like much, but there was people 321 00:16:51,660 --> 00:16:53,960 at that table before us spitting in the bucket. 322 00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:55,240 Queens, 323 00:16:55,920 --> 00:16:59,920 yeah. And then we topped it off with more wine spit. 324 00:17:00,620 --> 00:17:06,359 I feel like being third is putting me in a bad position to get a low card. 325 00:17:06,660 --> 00:17:09,500 And whoever gets the lowest card has to drink that spit bucket. 326 00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:11,180 I told you! 327 00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:17,190 I told you! Being third was putting me in a bad position. Is that an eight? Oh, 328 00:17:17,210 --> 00:17:20,849 my God. I got an eight. Who knows what kind of weird bacteria have been 329 00:17:20,849 --> 00:17:24,690 fermenting in there. I don't know if bacteria can ferment, but it's not going 330 00:17:24,690 --> 00:17:25,389 be good. 331 00:17:25,390 --> 00:17:26,770 I'm so nervous right now. 332 00:17:27,430 --> 00:17:31,390 Hand! Hand! Oh, my God. Heal the deal, man. 333 00:17:31,630 --> 00:17:32,630 Okay, stop. 334 00:17:34,879 --> 00:17:36,520 It's just a nice blend, really. 335 00:17:37,060 --> 00:17:38,140 We'll just do it here. 336 00:17:38,380 --> 00:17:40,920 I'm about to do it. Think about that as it's going down your throat. Definitely 337 00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:41,920 people's backwash. 338 00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:45,680 Nobody knows what it is. 339 00:17:47,180 --> 00:17:50,920 It was the flower pot. We'll blame it on the flower pot. 340 00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:52,160 There it is. 341 00:17:52,340 --> 00:17:53,340 Nice. 342 00:17:55,900 --> 00:17:57,660 It was so, like, sour. 343 00:17:57,960 --> 00:18:00,340 Like, it was so... Respect. 344 00:18:01,420 --> 00:18:02,420 Respect, Ariana. 345 00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:07,180 Our trip and their trip are so different. It's apples and oranges. 346 00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:10,440 Team Sonoma for the win. Happy birthday. 347 00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:15,140 I'm not jerking off as an option. 348 00:18:15,480 --> 00:18:17,340 It's the only thing I have. 349 00:18:17,620 --> 00:18:18,620 I need to have sex. 350 00:18:18,820 --> 00:18:19,820 I want to have sex. 351 00:18:27,159 --> 00:18:28,980 Maybe Lala found out it was in an RV. 352 00:18:29,340 --> 00:18:31,780 I mean, it is a deal breaker for some people. 353 00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:34,400 Close quarters are going to cause fights. 354 00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:36,920 Do I disagree with Tom, like, on the regular? 355 00:18:37,380 --> 00:18:40,080 Yeah, I'm in a perfect relationship, and we even disagree. 356 00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:42,240 Holy. Oh, my God. Oh, 357 00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:43,960 my God. 358 00:18:43,980 --> 00:18:47,360 Wait, that's supposed to be good luck if it lands on you. I was going to say, if 359 00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:49,960 you got pooped on for your birthday, it's good luck. Wait, Chris, to back up, 360 00:18:50,040 --> 00:18:52,920 did you say I'm in a perfect relationship? No one's in the perfect 361 00:18:53,100 --> 00:18:54,980 I mean, it's like 90 % perfect. 362 00:18:56,060 --> 00:18:59,560 Talk to me more about your perfect relationship right now. At least you 363 00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:00,479 real engagement ring. 364 00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:03,420 You went up to me so hard. Yeah, Kristen, where's your fake engagement 365 00:19:03,420 --> 00:19:06,400 weirdo? I'm sorry, you're my boyfriend, so shut the fuck up, birthday girl. 366 00:19:08,320 --> 00:19:09,320 Jesus Christ. 367 00:19:10,100 --> 00:19:10,979 That's mean. 368 00:19:10,980 --> 00:19:11,979 No, it's not. 369 00:19:11,980 --> 00:19:13,100 We're just kidding. We love you. 370 00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:16,380 I know. Who wouldn't love me? It's going to be fun. My boyfriend? 371 00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:17,880 My boyfriend? 372 00:19:18,700 --> 00:19:19,700 Dossie was very... 373 00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:23,020 propped up when her and Patrick first started dating. This is going to be the 374 00:19:23,020 --> 00:19:27,660 bedroom. So that is where I will be having sex with my boyfriend. This is 375 00:19:27,660 --> 00:19:31,600 to be Patrick's studio or nursery, whatever. 376 00:19:33,060 --> 00:19:39,480 It's like a long way to fall after being up so high. And I could say karma's a 377 00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:42,120 bitch, but I won't because I'm not a grudge holder. 378 00:19:42,360 --> 00:19:45,500 When I was single, you just like make out with people and it's fun. And it's 379 00:19:45,500 --> 00:19:47,560 just like distractions are good. Yeah, I got it. 380 00:19:47,960 --> 00:19:50,620 Fun. I got it. This is what I don't want. Are you crying? You've been 381 00:19:50,620 --> 00:19:53,900 this every fucking time I see you guys. I know. Are you upset? 382 00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:55,440 I know. It's fun. 383 00:19:55,740 --> 00:19:56,740 No, it's fun. 384 00:19:57,200 --> 00:20:02,540 So we've got married, engaged, and the 90 % perfect relationship. So happy 385 00:20:02,540 --> 00:20:03,540 birthday to me. 386 00:20:03,760 --> 00:20:05,560 Me as cumpleaños, bitches. 387 00:20:06,660 --> 00:20:07,940 As me cumpleaños. 388 00:20:08,380 --> 00:20:11,240 Whatever. Here comes a single maple poop on you. 389 00:20:11,460 --> 00:20:12,480 Show me, please. 390 00:20:13,440 --> 00:20:15,060 Why don't you want to show me? 391 00:20:21,750 --> 00:20:24,010 We are here. We have arrived. 392 00:20:25,430 --> 00:20:32,070 We made it. We finally made it. I feel like the RV really wants us 393 00:20:32,070 --> 00:20:33,990 to be drunken idiots on my birthday. 394 00:20:34,350 --> 00:20:37,050 Ariana, show them the you -know -what. Show them the quizzle. 395 00:20:37,430 --> 00:20:41,510 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm glad we got a door in that 396 00:20:41,510 --> 00:20:42,510 background. 397 00:20:42,700 --> 00:20:44,580 Hey, you can do one butt cheek at a time. 398 00:20:45,140 --> 00:20:46,960 I went to college for this. 399 00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:48,220 It's on your acting resume? 400 00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:49,600 It better be. 401 00:20:49,780 --> 00:20:50,860 Special skills. 402 00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:54,040 Woo! Ariana, pass me the tequila. 403 00:20:58,500 --> 00:20:59,940 Woo! It is! 404 00:21:01,080 --> 00:21:02,500 We're amongst our people. 405 00:21:14,290 --> 00:21:15,410 Hello. James. 406 00:21:16,790 --> 00:21:17,790 What's up, mate? 407 00:21:18,210 --> 00:21:19,210 Good, 408 00:21:19,850 --> 00:21:23,890 how are you? Good, good. I've been sober for about two weeks. A cappuccino with 409 00:21:23,890 --> 00:21:25,010 two espresso shots, please. 410 00:21:25,350 --> 00:21:27,670 A scoop of that roasted banana looks great. 411 00:21:28,380 --> 00:21:32,460 Let's do a scoop of the honey lavender as well. Crazy flavors over here. Love 412 00:21:32,460 --> 00:21:36,240 it. And honestly, anytime that I'm having a craving, I just go and get some 413 00:21:36,240 --> 00:21:40,560 cream instead. You could say I traded my whiskey on the rocks for Rocky Road on 414 00:21:40,560 --> 00:21:43,480 the Cone. A little rum raisin on the weekend if I'm feeling a little 415 00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:46,220 adventurous. Tell me everything. 416 00:21:46,720 --> 00:21:48,740 All right, well, where do I begin? 417 00:21:48,980 --> 00:21:51,260 You know, everyone has their slip -ups, I feel like. 418 00:21:51,980 --> 00:21:55,580 And there was one slip -up the other week, but then I'm like, you know... 419 00:21:55,870 --> 00:21:57,390 What would Arthur do in this situation? 420 00:21:57,930 --> 00:21:59,570 I know, I do literally think that. 421 00:21:59,770 --> 00:22:04,130 Arthur was the GM at Pump, but since then, like, he's really become a really 422 00:22:04,130 --> 00:22:07,470 close friend of mine and almost like a mentor. Let's just say in the last 423 00:22:07,610 --> 00:22:09,750 call Katie pregnant because she looks bad in the third dress. 424 00:22:10,090 --> 00:22:12,910 Sue me. You know? After that, I got assaulted. 425 00:22:13,250 --> 00:22:17,350 And this was at Pump? Yeah. Two days later, I got fired from Pump and Sir for 426 00:22:17,350 --> 00:22:18,350 yelling at Insert. 427 00:22:18,650 --> 00:22:21,710 Okay. So you're fired from Pump and Sir. 428 00:22:23,450 --> 00:22:24,710 So what's that tell you? 429 00:22:25,180 --> 00:22:26,180 To not drink. 430 00:22:29,580 --> 00:22:30,900 You're a grown -ass man. 431 00:22:31,220 --> 00:22:34,340 I think you are man enough to hold the job and not get fired. 432 00:22:34,620 --> 00:22:35,579 I am. 433 00:22:35,580 --> 00:22:40,100 You know, I subscribe to the belief that the problem is not really the problem. 434 00:22:40,180 --> 00:22:44,160 There's something underneath it, right? What is underneath all of that? My 435 00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:45,620 family is broken apart. 436 00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:47,580 It breaks my heart. 437 00:22:49,060 --> 00:22:50,380 Makes me want whiskey. 438 00:22:51,310 --> 00:22:55,190 Or a cigarette. Just something. I want something right now. Another espresso 439 00:22:55,190 --> 00:22:56,330 shot. Does it fix it? 440 00:22:56,710 --> 00:23:00,150 You know, I don't give a f*** if it does or not. I don't know what else is going 441 00:23:00,150 --> 00:23:01,150 to do tonight. 442 00:23:01,210 --> 00:23:03,790 Probably nothing else tonight is going to fix it. I mean, I think you're 443 00:23:03,790 --> 00:23:07,410 topically trying to sprinkle magic fairy dust to make your problems go away. 444 00:23:09,710 --> 00:23:13,930 I feel like a drink right now. We're not having one. I'm not going to support 445 00:23:13,930 --> 00:23:14,930 that. 446 00:23:16,460 --> 00:23:20,080 Arthur's just the perfect guy to chat with me. He understands me. He 447 00:23:20,080 --> 00:23:23,520 where I'm coming from. He understands where I could potentially take myself in 448 00:23:23,520 --> 00:23:25,260 my life. And he's always believed in me. 449 00:23:25,500 --> 00:23:29,380 Hey, I was going to ask you, you guys need a DJ at Redberry? 450 00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:34,260 He also has got a really thick bar on Hollywood and Vine that I would love to 451 00:23:34,260 --> 00:23:39,280 at. The minute you said that you got fired from Pump, fired from Serve, I 452 00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:40,280 this would come up. 453 00:23:40,380 --> 00:23:43,340 Look, I think if you're going to DJ for us, you're not drinking. 454 00:23:44,040 --> 00:23:47,350 100%. And the minute you break your word, there's got to be consequences. 455 00:23:48,130 --> 00:23:49,530 Like I got to cut your hair or something. 456 00:23:49,750 --> 00:23:50,749 Or fire me. 457 00:23:50,750 --> 00:23:51,970 Fire you and cut your hair. 458 00:23:52,190 --> 00:23:53,189 Can you shake my hand? 459 00:23:53,190 --> 00:23:57,250 What? This isn't a deal shake. I just want to thank you for having my back. 460 00:23:57,570 --> 00:24:00,990 I guess for the time being, it's going to be sober DJ James Kennedy behind the 461 00:24:00,990 --> 00:24:03,970 decks. You know, I can't let Lisa down. I can't let myself down. 462 00:24:04,250 --> 00:24:07,890 And I don't want to let Arthur down either, you know? This is the first day 463 00:24:07,890 --> 00:24:08,890 the rest of my life. 464 00:24:09,350 --> 00:24:10,550 Let's get weird. Let's have fun. 465 00:24:12,140 --> 00:24:13,140 Without the alcohol. 466 00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:14,280 Without alcohol. 467 00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:17,200 Thank you so much, dude. 468 00:24:21,740 --> 00:24:23,820 Heck, other people are judging us because of our mini grill. 469 00:24:24,100 --> 00:24:27,920 Dude, it's not the size. It's how you use it, man. Come on. You're right. 470 00:24:27,920 --> 00:24:30,180 right. You're right. You guys want to sit down and talk about life? 471 00:24:30,500 --> 00:24:31,500 I'm not going to lie to you now. 472 00:24:31,900 --> 00:24:34,340 If you want to get the feelings in, let's get it in right now. 473 00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:36,060 Where's the girls? Where's Brittany and Ariana? 474 00:24:36,760 --> 00:24:37,760 Birthday shot. 475 00:24:38,650 --> 00:24:42,330 Brittany, you knew when you invited me here this was going to happen. 476 00:24:44,290 --> 00:24:45,350 Are you having fun? 477 00:24:45,830 --> 00:24:47,190 Oh my God, I'm having the best time. 478 00:24:47,630 --> 00:24:48,950 I'm so glad you came. 479 00:24:49,350 --> 00:24:51,050 I'm happy too. Are you having fun too? 480 00:24:51,250 --> 00:24:52,330 Yeah. Cool. 481 00:24:52,550 --> 00:24:53,550 I'm glad. 482 00:24:53,570 --> 00:24:58,770 I'm so excited to be here in Sonoma having the f***ing time of our lives. 483 00:24:58,970 --> 00:25:01,810 No joke, this bottle was us. 484 00:25:02,230 --> 00:25:04,930 I don't think anyone else drank out of this bottle. 485 00:25:05,340 --> 00:25:10,280 Because I didn't want to go out to a nice dinner or go out to a club and 486 00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:13,740 to be dressed up the whole time and just feeling, like, that restriction. 487 00:25:13,980 --> 00:25:14,980 Like, that. 488 00:25:16,940 --> 00:25:20,980 Dude, me and Ariana, like, lately, like, in the past few months. 489 00:25:21,260 --> 00:25:24,880 Jeremy, I know it's a little awkward. I know what you're saying. Go ahead. I'm 490 00:25:24,880 --> 00:25:26,880 well aware. 491 00:25:27,280 --> 00:25:30,720 I've been, like, trying to have sex with Ariana, and she's, like, not been into 492 00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:35,580 it. Right. You start to feel like I'm f***ing, like, like a skis. You start to 493 00:25:35,580 --> 00:25:36,600 feel sleazy. 494 00:25:36,960 --> 00:25:41,820 Tom and I were arguing about not having sex because I'm the one that's like, get 495 00:25:41,820 --> 00:25:42,820 the f*** off of me. 496 00:25:43,520 --> 00:25:46,000 Stop trying to go down on me all the time. 497 00:25:46,400 --> 00:25:50,220 What? I would never be like, stop trying to go down on me all the time. 498 00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:54,300 Well, I'm like, I literally just got home from the gym. Can you not, though? 499 00:25:55,660 --> 00:25:57,980 I was like, I'm not jerking off as an option. 500 00:25:58,650 --> 00:26:01,530 I'm jerking off because it's, like, the only thing I have. 501 00:26:02,470 --> 00:26:05,970 Like, it's all I have. I can't even have sex with you. I have to go jerk off. 502 00:26:06,190 --> 00:26:07,690 That's the only way I can get off. 503 00:26:07,910 --> 00:26:11,630 And, like, you have to understand, like, I've been working out lately. I need to 504 00:26:11,630 --> 00:26:16,530 have sex. I want to have sex. If Brittany came to me and said the whole 505 00:26:16,530 --> 00:26:19,870 of our relationship is over, I'd be hitting the door. 506 00:26:20,110 --> 00:26:21,170 We're going for a run. 507 00:26:21,670 --> 00:26:22,670 A long run. 508 00:26:23,830 --> 00:26:25,250 Sometimes you have a little argument. 509 00:26:25,840 --> 00:26:27,240 It'll turn it off like that. 510 00:26:27,480 --> 00:26:30,820 What are you and Brittany fighting about? I have no f***ing clue. It's me. 511 00:26:30,820 --> 00:26:34,040 100 % me. You give to yourself and you start throwing everything you've done 512 00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:34,779 her. You know what? 513 00:26:34,780 --> 00:26:37,900 Sabotage. Because everything's finally going right and I'm like, you know what? 514 00:26:37,940 --> 00:26:38,980 I gotta f*** this up somehow. 515 00:26:39,180 --> 00:26:40,440 That's... I'm gonna sabotage. 516 00:26:40,660 --> 00:26:44,320 She is the perfect girlfriend for me. No, I know. 517 00:26:45,120 --> 00:26:46,420 It's never gonna get better than that. 518 00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:49,380 That's it. That's the almighty. This is how life should be. But she's always 519 00:26:49,380 --> 00:26:51,840 done. But, oh, what do I do? I gotta f*** this up somehow because that's what 520 00:26:51,840 --> 00:26:52,840 Jack does. 521 00:27:00,629 --> 00:27:04,950 That was a good one. Jack would prefer me to, like, run around the block in 522 00:27:04,950 --> 00:27:09,710 Converse with no socks on so he could lick my... Oh, yeah, well, I know about 523 00:27:09,710 --> 00:27:11,230 that. Yeah, I get to lick it. 524 00:27:12,610 --> 00:27:13,610 Lick your shoulder. 525 00:27:14,470 --> 00:27:15,470 I'm like, yeah! 526 00:27:17,330 --> 00:27:18,330 I'm like, no! 527 00:27:19,030 --> 00:27:20,110 Get out of there! 528 00:27:20,650 --> 00:27:24,890 You know, girls don't always want to sit around and talk about... tampons and 529 00:27:24,890 --> 00:27:30,590 makeup and bridget jones's diary sometimes girls really do sit down and 530 00:27:30,590 --> 00:27:37,150 about the bone zone and go into boner town erection city that's why we're 531 00:27:37,150 --> 00:27:42,890 at nascar and not having a tea party oh my god i'm swimming i'm in a fishbowl 532 00:27:42,890 --> 00:27:47,820 get me out of here coming up Well, we're doing green tea shots. 533 00:27:48,140 --> 00:27:49,280 I'll do whatever you want. 534 00:27:49,500 --> 00:27:53,280 I'll throw up. That's like bad college memories for me. Oh, they're all bad 535 00:27:53,280 --> 00:27:55,160 memories for me, but I just keep on going. 536 00:28:07,020 --> 00:28:08,640 Want to go to the bar? 537 00:28:08,980 --> 00:28:10,260 Yeah. Yay. 538 00:28:11,760 --> 00:28:12,760 Perfect. 539 00:28:13,010 --> 00:28:13,829 Hi, welcome. 540 00:28:13,830 --> 00:28:16,990 I'm having a dilemma on what to drink. I, like, really, like, I want beer, but 541 00:28:16,990 --> 00:28:18,490 I'm doing beer. 542 00:28:19,010 --> 00:28:22,150 I'd rather just be a little better. If you just stick to beer, then you're not 543 00:28:22,150 --> 00:28:23,530 going to be no longer. I can do beer and shots. 544 00:28:23,850 --> 00:28:26,530 I can do beer and shots, too. I can't do liquor and shots. Done. 545 00:28:26,810 --> 00:28:28,090 Well, we're doing green tea shots. 546 00:28:28,690 --> 00:28:30,330 One of those, I will be hungover. 547 00:28:31,070 --> 00:28:32,830 Really? I'll do whatever you want. 548 00:28:33,130 --> 00:28:38,170 I'll throw up. Uh, listen, Debbie f***ing Downer. There's, like, a cool 549 00:28:38,170 --> 00:28:42,210 decline a shot. The one way to not do it is to remind me that I'll be hungover. 550 00:28:42,650 --> 00:28:46,430 That's like bad college memories for me. That, Washington Apple shot. 551 00:28:47,330 --> 00:28:50,610 Oh, they're all bad memories for me, but I just keep on going, you know? 552 00:28:51,750 --> 00:28:53,570 Cheers. Should I get a chaser? 553 00:28:53,970 --> 00:28:59,530 Wait, there's like... It's so good. I would drink those until I passed out. 554 00:29:02,430 --> 00:29:04,490 Tina, I took a sip. I tried it. 555 00:29:07,610 --> 00:29:08,610 We'll share it. 556 00:29:08,940 --> 00:29:09,940 Like our brain. 557 00:29:10,600 --> 00:29:14,540 These girls may share a brain, but what they don't share is my workout regimen. 558 00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:17,900 So y 'all can drink the sugary, then I'll be just fine. 559 00:29:18,260 --> 00:29:19,260 It's her birthday. 560 00:29:19,300 --> 00:29:20,940 Are you kidding me? 561 00:29:21,220 --> 00:29:22,340 It is. It's her birthday. 562 00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:23,840 22. 563 00:29:24,200 --> 00:29:25,320 How did you know? 564 00:29:25,580 --> 00:29:26,740 That's my lucky number. 565 00:29:27,220 --> 00:29:29,060 You know what my lucky number is? 22? 566 00:29:29,300 --> 00:29:30,400 It is? 567 00:29:30,780 --> 00:29:37,440 Oh. I go real deep. I go real like. I go granular with this. I was hoping for 568 00:29:37,440 --> 00:29:39,460 like. Some younger hot dudes. 569 00:29:39,800 --> 00:29:41,220 All right, so we're going to do a shot, right? 570 00:29:44,720 --> 00:29:45,880 Like, gray -pubed? 571 00:29:46,220 --> 00:29:47,360 No, I can't. 572 00:29:47,740 --> 00:29:49,960 No. Can we come over there later, or what? 573 00:29:50,360 --> 00:29:53,340 Maybe we can later. All right, I'm in. All right, we'll see you later. Thank 574 00:29:53,340 --> 00:29:57,220 you. Thank you. That's very sweet. I think we found you a suitor. 575 00:30:00,400 --> 00:30:01,400 Yay! 576 00:30:05,740 --> 00:30:07,040 What's the oldest you would date? 577 00:30:07,930 --> 00:30:08,849 Forty -five. 578 00:30:08,850 --> 00:30:11,550 But there's a lot of things to consider because if you get serious about 579 00:30:11,550 --> 00:30:14,410 someone, you think about kids and stuff like that. I mean, what do you mean? 580 00:30:14,410 --> 00:30:15,470 What do you have in respect to me? 581 00:30:16,070 --> 00:30:17,070 Get that reverse. 582 00:30:17,470 --> 00:30:18,470 Oh. 583 00:30:20,130 --> 00:30:25,350 Happy birthday, Ariana! 584 00:30:25,970 --> 00:30:27,270 Woo! Happy birthday! 585 00:30:27,770 --> 00:30:28,770 My birthday! 586 00:30:28,810 --> 00:30:29,830 We're so nasty, all right? 587 00:30:30,050 --> 00:30:31,970 Normally, I don't get to see Ariana this strong. 588 00:30:32,170 --> 00:30:34,710 Yeah, hot dogs, I got to see them. Yeah, hot dogs, I got to see them. 589 00:30:35,850 --> 00:30:37,550 I don't know. I think it's great. I love it. 590 00:30:38,250 --> 00:30:39,870 Yeah. Ew, dude. 591 00:30:40,290 --> 00:30:42,930 Yes, I love it. That's what we came here for, man. 592 00:30:43,270 --> 00:30:46,170 We're not being boozy. Give me a fucking bite of that. Has it been in your butt? 593 00:30:46,350 --> 00:30:49,350 Who's butt hasn't been in anybody's butt? You got hot sauce on it. 594 00:30:50,390 --> 00:30:53,930 Like, Ariana doesn't get drunk all the time, like us. She's responsible. 595 00:30:55,350 --> 00:30:59,790 What? But when she does get drunk, she's eating a piece of half -cooked steak 596 00:30:59,790 --> 00:31:01,490 with her hands, chugging tequila. 597 00:31:02,130 --> 00:31:04,070 You should be like that more often, Ariana. 598 00:31:04,920 --> 00:31:05,920 On the grill. 599 00:31:07,160 --> 00:31:08,720 He's burning her ass. Literally. 600 00:31:09,020 --> 00:31:10,020 Whoa, whoa. 601 00:31:10,480 --> 00:31:11,480 That ass is hot. 602 00:31:15,440 --> 00:31:18,640 How are you? Sorry. How are you? Good, how are you? 603 00:31:19,260 --> 00:31:20,260 Hi, Matt. 604 00:31:21,460 --> 00:31:24,180 Love it. Love it. Love all of you. Thank you. 605 00:31:26,120 --> 00:31:27,120 Anyways. 606 00:31:28,140 --> 00:31:29,200 Oh, that's it. Okay. 607 00:31:30,060 --> 00:31:32,260 I thought you had somewhere else to go. I know. 608 00:31:33,600 --> 00:31:34,519 He's tall. 609 00:31:34,520 --> 00:31:35,840 He's not as old as my grandfather. 610 00:31:36,260 --> 00:31:37,500 We're getting a little warmer. 611 00:31:37,880 --> 00:31:38,880 What did I interrupt? 612 00:31:39,800 --> 00:31:40,800 It's her birthday. 613 00:31:40,980 --> 00:31:43,120 Oh, really? Happy birthday. Thank you very much. 614 00:31:43,740 --> 00:31:45,580 22. Really? I'm not. 615 00:31:45,900 --> 00:31:48,240 She keeps forgetting, so we wrote it down since you remembered. 616 00:31:50,220 --> 00:31:51,220 That's how you know. 617 00:31:51,260 --> 00:31:53,920 Then he starts talking, and we get a little cooler. 618 00:31:54,360 --> 00:31:57,280 Welcome to my talk, and hopefully you get a lot of life. 619 00:31:58,250 --> 00:31:59,250 Challenge accepted. 620 00:31:59,430 --> 00:32:01,550 And we're freaking freezing. 621 00:32:01,830 --> 00:32:05,130 I feel like I'm getting a second or a third wind. Yes, I totally am. 622 00:32:05,710 --> 00:32:08,070 Where do we light things on fire? 623 00:32:08,490 --> 00:32:11,470 Where can we get a... I don't know your name. I'm so sorry. What's your name? 624 00:32:12,050 --> 00:32:16,610 What is it? Are you like a god? 625 00:32:16,870 --> 00:32:17,870 Layer teeth? 626 00:32:17,970 --> 00:32:18,970 Where are you from? 627 00:32:19,650 --> 00:32:20,650 Yeah. 628 00:32:20,890 --> 00:32:22,350 It's my favorite place in the world. 629 00:32:23,010 --> 00:32:25,810 Santorini is so romantic, you have to be a couple. I know, I'm going for my 630 00:32:25,810 --> 00:32:27,550 honeymoon. I went there by myself and I felt like an asshole. 631 00:32:28,310 --> 00:32:30,550 No, no, I'm going for my honeymoon. 632 00:32:30,990 --> 00:32:35,390 My friend Lizard, can we stay with him? Then he had a house in St. Louis. 633 00:32:35,670 --> 00:32:39,470 Dad, you could hit it off. We broke from Athens to there. We're about to 634 00:32:39,470 --> 00:32:40,470 exchange numbers. 635 00:32:40,910 --> 00:32:44,190 What's up, asshead? 636 00:32:44,750 --> 00:32:46,790 If you guys go to Greece, you will understand. 637 00:32:47,720 --> 00:32:51,560 and you will be obsessed with Lisa's love. Bottom line, Katie's never going 638 00:32:51,560 --> 00:32:52,680 be my wing woman. 639 00:32:54,900 --> 00:32:58,660 I'm starting to think that, like, I'm going to be single for a very long time. 640 00:32:58,980 --> 00:33:04,100 If this is what's out there, I'm... Bye, thank you so much. 641 00:33:05,300 --> 00:33:06,300 Thank you. 642 00:33:08,660 --> 00:33:09,619 Coming up. 643 00:33:09,620 --> 00:33:12,940 If she's told not to go to Sonoma, that could have been two minutes before the 644 00:33:12,940 --> 00:33:16,320 plane and she wouldn't board it. She's completely wrapped around this guy's 645 00:33:16,320 --> 00:33:17,320 finger. 646 00:33:29,080 --> 00:33:30,080 What's up, buddy boy? 647 00:33:30,160 --> 00:33:31,160 How you doing? Good. 648 00:33:31,340 --> 00:33:32,139 How's life? 649 00:33:32,140 --> 00:33:33,140 It was brutal. 650 00:33:33,400 --> 00:33:36,020 Let's go. Are you ready to go out? Are you ready to have a nice life? Yeah, of 651 00:33:36,020 --> 00:33:36,919 course. 652 00:33:36,920 --> 00:33:38,500 Ouch. What are you doing here? 653 00:33:38,940 --> 00:33:42,660 Just kidnapping him. Don't let him influence you. Am I a bad influence? 654 00:33:42,960 --> 00:33:43,960 I'm always looking after him. 655 00:33:44,060 --> 00:33:46,420 Exactly. Go do what you've got to do. Yeah, let's go. 656 00:33:46,660 --> 00:33:47,539 Bye, Mum. Love you. 657 00:33:47,540 --> 00:33:51,900 I fired James from Sir, but unfortunately I can't fire him from 658 00:33:51,900 --> 00:33:52,619 with my son. 659 00:33:52,620 --> 00:33:56,460 I want to talk to you, but this is nothing about your job. This is nothing 660 00:33:56,460 --> 00:33:57,520 you coming back here. 661 00:33:57,720 --> 00:33:58,359 All right. 662 00:33:58,360 --> 00:33:59,720 Have you heard from Lala at all? 663 00:34:00,420 --> 00:34:01,039 No, why? 664 00:34:01,040 --> 00:34:03,320 Do you know where she is? She went to Sonoma for Ariana's birthday. 665 00:34:03,560 --> 00:34:04,560 She goes to Sonoma. 666 00:34:04,840 --> 00:34:05,900 Are you serious? 667 00:34:06,420 --> 00:34:07,420 No, I'm serious. 668 00:34:07,440 --> 00:34:08,440 Absolutely not. 669 00:34:08,580 --> 00:34:09,580 That is insane. 670 00:34:09,699 --> 00:34:12,199 She was texting everyone last night saying she's so excited. 671 00:34:12,400 --> 00:34:15,860 Last night? She was saying she was excited? So what's happened between last 672 00:34:15,860 --> 00:34:18,760 night and today? The only thing I can think of is her boyfriend. 673 00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:21,239 Like, I mean, she... But who is her boyfriend? 674 00:34:21,520 --> 00:34:25,000 You've met him? I've never met him, no. He's sneaky, I think. Like, he kind of 675 00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:26,880 just, like, follows Lala out sometimes. 676 00:34:27,949 --> 00:34:32,370 I feel like Lala's scared to do what she wants to do sometimes, and I feel like 677 00:34:32,370 --> 00:34:37,330 Lala, you know, if she's told not to go to Sonoma, then that could have been two 678 00:34:37,330 --> 00:34:39,210 minutes before the plane and she wouldn't have bought it. 679 00:34:40,370 --> 00:34:43,190 Like, she's completely wrapped around this guy's finger. 680 00:34:43,550 --> 00:34:47,389 She wonders why everybody is so fascinated at her relationship, and it's 681 00:34:47,389 --> 00:34:51,780 because... She's making it so fascinating by telling everybody a 682 00:34:51,780 --> 00:34:55,420 about it. I worry about that girl, I really do. I worry that she makes right 683 00:34:55,420 --> 00:34:58,880 choices. She's not right now. She's not making right choices at all. 684 00:34:59,120 --> 00:35:00,620 You've never seen her with her boyfriend? 685 00:35:00,900 --> 00:35:04,560 No, but I've been over at her house where she'll shut the blinds to make 686 00:35:04,560 --> 00:35:06,440 her boyfriend doesn't walk past and see me inside. 687 00:35:06,860 --> 00:35:07,860 Are you serious? 688 00:35:07,900 --> 00:35:12,940 Yeah, or we're watching this TV show. I went like this under the table and she 689 00:35:12,940 --> 00:35:15,100 was like, who's that? 690 00:35:15,660 --> 00:35:18,240 I was like, you're that scared and a knock on the door. 691 00:35:18,640 --> 00:35:20,780 That's what's wrong with this relationship, Lala. 692 00:35:21,360 --> 00:35:24,940 I don't know if she's dating a married man or not, but she's dating somebody 693 00:35:24,940 --> 00:35:28,680 that's shrouded in mystery. She's not allowed to speak his name out loud. And 694 00:35:28,680 --> 00:35:32,140 think Lala really deserves a little bit better than that. 695 00:35:32,340 --> 00:35:36,620 All right, just don't be a bad influence on my son. You hear me? I'm definitely 696 00:35:36,620 --> 00:35:38,780 going to be on with this baby tonight and those young kids. 697 00:35:39,020 --> 00:35:41,420 All right, I'll see you later. Bye. 698 00:35:49,210 --> 00:35:50,530 Guys, should we call Tom? 699 00:35:51,070 --> 00:35:53,410 Yeah, see how the RV sleepover is going. 700 00:35:55,050 --> 00:35:56,450 What are you doing, Boba? 701 00:35:56,710 --> 00:36:00,770 Hi, Boba. We were just at the bar making friends with a bunch of Montaco. 702 00:36:01,030 --> 00:36:05,350 Friendies. Yeah, we have a beautiful view. We have an RV. We have maybe an 703 00:36:05,350 --> 00:36:06,690 unlimited supply of beer. 704 00:36:07,770 --> 00:36:10,710 ask for everything you could ask for i think i could probably ask for like a 705 00:36:10,710 --> 00:36:15,770 bunch of things all right in this given moment it's everything i can ask for but 706 00:36:15,770 --> 00:36:19,270 you know i don't want to stay in like a posh swanky hotel i like it it's like 707 00:36:19,270 --> 00:36:26,230 frankly i'm a little worried whether or not schwartz is cut out for the rv 708 00:36:26,230 --> 00:36:30,530 life because he loves a posh hotel more than anyone i know he'll walk around in 709 00:36:30,530 --> 00:36:34,270 the robe and the slippers and take a bath and it's not a bathtub 710 00:36:34,990 --> 00:36:37,710 Can't have a bubble bath, and I'm sure it doesn't come with nice terrycloth 711 00:36:37,710 --> 00:36:38,890 robes. Bob! 712 00:36:39,470 --> 00:36:42,270 What? We're all kind of curious. What the f*** happened with Lala? 713 00:36:42,570 --> 00:36:45,730 It's an absolute mystery. We never got to the bottom of it. What theories did 714 00:36:45,730 --> 00:36:47,210 come up with as to why Lala didn't come? 715 00:36:47,570 --> 00:36:49,050 Tom Sandoval's here. Take this one. 716 00:36:49,410 --> 00:36:53,570 I had to walk it off. I don't want to get into it. I'm actually really pissed 717 00:36:53,570 --> 00:36:57,050 off about it. There was a lot of planning that went into this. Why she 718 00:36:57,970 --> 00:37:02,060 I'm kind of reveling in the fact that... everyone's eyes are going to be finally 719 00:37:02,060 --> 00:37:05,920 opened to the fact that this is who she is. No one should be giving her any 720 00:37:05,920 --> 00:37:09,580 allowances. Lots of people appreciate my theory. I think she got abducted by 721 00:37:09,580 --> 00:37:10,580 tall greys. 722 00:37:10,660 --> 00:37:14,240 George, oh my God, I cannot believe you just said that. I was literally about to 723 00:37:14,240 --> 00:37:17,720 say that my theory was that she was abducted from tall greys. George, I got 724 00:37:18,440 --> 00:37:19,920 There are many different types of aliens. 725 00:37:20,260 --> 00:37:25,060 There are short greys, tall whites, Pleiadians, but tall greys are my 726 00:37:25,220 --> 00:37:28,580 If Lala did get abducted by aliens, I wonder what she's doing up there in that 727 00:37:28,580 --> 00:37:33,200 spaceship. She's probably blowing married tall greys so she can get space 728 00:37:33,200 --> 00:37:35,240 Rovers. I miss you. I love you. 729 00:37:35,560 --> 00:37:36,560 I love you, Bubba. I love you. 730 00:37:37,080 --> 00:37:40,060 Bubba, I love when we don't fight. Look, we just call each other. We check in. 731 00:37:40,280 --> 00:37:41,880 We don't be passive aggressive. 732 00:37:42,580 --> 00:37:47,140 Yeah, I think it's... pee in a relationship to spend some healthy time 733 00:37:47,140 --> 00:37:51,040 feel like it does wonders for the relationship overall. Well, I don't want 734 00:37:51,040 --> 00:37:55,320 jinx it, but it seems like there'll be no rage texts tonight. Just sweet, short 735 00:37:55,320 --> 00:37:56,320 love texts. 736 00:37:56,640 --> 00:37:58,940 So this is the type of relationship I'm talking about. 737 00:37:59,180 --> 00:38:03,160 Well, we're going to get naked and skinny dipped in the ocean, so have fun. 738 00:38:04,300 --> 00:38:05,300 I'm on my way. 739 00:38:07,200 --> 00:38:08,480 That was you, right, bud? 740 00:38:08,820 --> 00:38:10,580 All right, I love you, buddy. Okay. 741 00:38:11,930 --> 00:38:12,930 Bye, guys. 742 00:38:14,030 --> 00:38:15,030 I'm on my way. 743 00:38:16,890 --> 00:38:20,450 Oh, my God. For a minute, it sounded like it could have been a stand -alone. 744 00:38:20,450 --> 00:38:21,450 wasn't sure. 745 00:38:22,850 --> 00:38:29,710 Good night, 746 00:38:29,790 --> 00:38:30,790 man. We're going to bed. 747 00:38:30,830 --> 00:38:31,830 Oh, we're going to bed. 748 00:38:31,850 --> 00:38:34,930 Bed time. Get that booty up there. We got NASCAR in the morning. Good night. 749 00:38:35,410 --> 00:38:37,050 I'm sleeping fully clothed, no joke. 750 00:38:37,410 --> 00:38:41,030 Jack, no snoring, man. Yeah, she's taking those pants off. Woo -hoo! 751 00:38:44,880 --> 00:38:45,880 You know, 752 00:38:47,500 --> 00:38:51,640 I know a year ago when I left after your birthday party, you were really mad at 753 00:38:51,640 --> 00:38:55,200 me. Last year for Ariana's 30th birthday, it was a milestone. 754 00:38:55,920 --> 00:39:00,560 And it definitely hit her hard that her dad wasn't there for that. And then the 755 00:39:00,560 --> 00:39:03,880 fact that I left for Vegas the following day didn't help. 756 00:39:04,140 --> 00:39:07,940 I'm always going to be here for you. But apparently he told me that we're going 757 00:39:07,940 --> 00:39:12,400 to a construction yard and we're taking bulldozers and like... crushing with 758 00:39:12,400 --> 00:39:19,160 bulldozers okay like whatever dude you're never gonna get it it's fine i 759 00:39:19,160 --> 00:39:24,360 she's in a way better headspace this year but i just want to make sure that 760 00:39:24,360 --> 00:39:30,560 ariana knows how important her birthday is to me i know this time of year can be 761 00:39:30,560 --> 00:39:37,560 hard for you and i don't know i just i wanted to make sure no matter what that 762 00:39:37,560 --> 00:39:38,560 was here 763 00:39:39,120 --> 00:39:42,220 I'm just glad you're actually spending the night with me on my birthday. 764 00:39:43,160 --> 00:39:44,440 That's all I wanted before. 765 00:39:44,960 --> 00:39:45,960 I'm sorry. 766 00:39:48,620 --> 00:39:55,480 I think Tom 767 00:39:55,480 --> 00:40:00,200 has more than redeemed himself for last year. He does it in little ways every 768 00:40:00,200 --> 00:40:04,360 day, and honestly, I have no greater ally. 769 00:40:05,730 --> 00:40:06,870 Oh, my God. 770 00:40:07,110 --> 00:40:09,450 Oh, this is perfect right here. Oh, this is good. This is good. 771 00:40:12,230 --> 00:40:13,790 Ew, man, did you fart? 772 00:40:14,290 --> 00:40:15,350 Farts are not allowed. 773 00:40:15,590 --> 00:40:16,670 Oh, that's getting worse. 774 00:40:16,970 --> 00:40:17,970 Good night, asshole. 775 00:40:18,610 --> 00:40:19,610 Coming up. 776 00:40:33,190 --> 00:40:35,630 Is this the part where we get naked and go jump in the ocean? 777 00:40:35,990 --> 00:40:36,990 Yes, it is! 778 00:40:37,270 --> 00:40:38,950 I'll videotape you guys. Come on! 779 00:40:39,310 --> 00:40:43,330 Girl, I'm freezing already. I'm not jumping in freezing cold water. I don't 780 00:40:43,330 --> 00:40:46,130 care. I'm not doing it. I hate to break it to you, but you're going in there. 781 00:40:46,170 --> 00:40:46,908 But I'm not. 782 00:40:46,910 --> 00:40:49,790 This is a pledge. No, it sounds like peer pressure. 783 00:40:50,050 --> 00:40:52,690 It sounds like all three of you ganging up on me. 784 00:40:53,030 --> 00:40:57,630 How did Sheena not get the memo that on Stassi's birthday, we get naked and we 785 00:40:57,630 --> 00:40:58,810 jump into bodies of water? 786 00:41:09,180 --> 00:41:13,100 The dirt is not up my ass. Get with it. It's not that hard. 787 00:41:21,200 --> 00:41:22,200 Honestly, right here. 788 00:41:22,960 --> 00:41:23,960 Love you. 789 00:41:24,660 --> 00:41:25,660 One, 790 00:41:27,060 --> 00:41:28,060 two, three. 791 00:41:50,480 --> 00:41:51,480 Really? 792 00:41:52,120 --> 00:41:56,840 A lighthouse is pointed directly at my naked body and people are cheering at 793 00:41:59,140 --> 00:42:00,140 What? 794 00:42:00,840 --> 00:42:02,380 All these things are happening. 795 00:42:04,140 --> 00:42:05,140 No one talked to me. 796 00:42:05,420 --> 00:42:07,300 No one talked with me. 797 00:42:08,080 --> 00:42:10,520 It's not a Rihanna concert. Everybody shut up. 798 00:42:13,820 --> 00:42:16,340 Next time on Vanderpump Rules. 799 00:42:16,560 --> 00:42:17,680 Here they go. Here they go. 800 00:42:18,720 --> 00:42:23,040 Dude, Jack, you f***ing tortured her this morning. If I asked once in a 801 00:42:23,080 --> 00:42:25,380 hey, can I have a sandwich or do I do my laundry as well? 802 00:42:25,700 --> 00:42:27,760 Dude, I'd bob down if I was in a reverse situation. 803 00:42:28,200 --> 00:42:31,180 If I were Brittany, Jack would either be bleeding or dead right now. 804 00:42:33,580 --> 00:42:37,340 Do you think there's some talent here for you to exercise your single muscles? 805 00:42:37,500 --> 00:42:41,200 The one right in front of me is who I would normally go for. For Kyle? 806 00:42:42,220 --> 00:42:46,360 Lala, I really don't know what's going on. All I know is you give as good as 807 00:42:46,360 --> 00:42:49,940 get. I think it's best for me to walk away from this workplace.